Funny Halloween Sayings

For the sarcastic, the unbothered and the dead inside.
Skip to results list
52 items

Filter

About this collection

  • Printed to order on heavyweight, garment-dyed Comfort Colors 1717
  • Sizes S–2XL in colors from Ivory and Butter to Moss and Black
  • Short, quotable lines paired with vintage monster art

Some people go to Halloween parties to scare people. You go to say exactly what you're thinking, through a vampire. These shirts pair classic monsters with one-liners that sound a lot like your group chat: ghosted him first, hex first ask later, nine lives zero patience, dead before coffee.

They're Halloween shirts for grown-ups with a little attitude, and most of them work long after October ends. If you've ever been described as "a lot," start here.

Frequently asked questions

Are these okay to wear outside of Halloween?
Mostly, yes. The jokes are about moods everyone has year-round. The monsters just say them better.
What shirt are they printed on?
The Comfort Colors 1717: heavyweight ring-spun cotton, garment-dyed for a soft, slightly broken-in feel from the first wear.
How does the sizing run?
It's a relaxed unisex fit. Order your usual size for a classic fit, or size up for an oversized look. There's a size chart on every product page.
Will the print fade?
The ink is printed directly into the cotton. Wash it inside out in cold water and it holds up well. Garment-dyed shirts mellow a little over time, which is part of the look.